Douchebag Jar

Oooh Jess! I just found a GroupOn for hypnosis lessons! Think about what you could do with that... Sex stuff...
Guys has anyone seen my good peacoat?
Have you seen my snakeskin laptop sleeve?
Darn it... has anyone seen my croquet cleats?
Hey Jess... Have you seen my other time piece?
Nick! I came up with the best name for an uncircumcised penis. Bishop in a turtleneck!
DAMN IT! I can't find my driving moccasins ANYWHERE!